Valentine’s Day 2009 is almost over and I have been thought of with roses, cards, chocolates, cookies, and time and all of it made the day better for me than I could have imagined. Thanks to those of you who remembered us and prayed for us to jump yet another hurdle and land on the other side ready to keep running. We’re still up and in the race.
Last Sunday after church Christy picked up a tiny vase I keep on my kitchen window ledge and gently fingered the two roses in it. She has one like it in her bedroom and as I walked in the dining room she asked if I realized that was the last Valentine’s present Eric bought us and, she pointed out, the flowers are non-perishable. The thought of that was a great blessing to both of us and one of those moments that took my breath away for a second or two.
Eric always considered Valentine’s Day a “Hallmark Holiday”. You know, the kind where the card companies profit more than anyone else and they make you feel guilty if you don’t let your sweetheart know how special they are on that particular day! We didn’t usually go all out or make too much out of it but there was always a little gift for Christy and I (the boys, too, when they were younger!).
In 2007 the boys were in college and Eric took just Christy and I to dinner and we went to the mall afterward. There he saw some little vases with two small roses in them and thought he’d like to get them for us but wondered how in the world he’d get them home with out the water spilling. It took him about 5 minutes and several glances at the display before he realized the “water” was fake and wouldn’t spill at all!! Remembering that part of the gift made Christy and I both laugh. We had teased him about that a couple of times since the purchase and would have teased him again this year had he been here. Perhaps he heard us anyway!
Love was not kept for special occasions in this house. It was appreciated everyday and celebrated more often than not. Perhaps the celebrations weren’t with cards and gifts, but smiles and hugs are better ways to celebrate everyday!
Next Thursday it will be a year since life changed for us. A year. I wonder how long that seems in heaven. Do you suppose he has had a chance to miss us yet? Do you think he even realizes we aren’t there? How has he spent his time these past 365 days? Who has he seen and what does he know now that he didn’t before?
Since I wrote last we have celebrated Christy’s 20th birthday, weathered a snow/ice storm, had busted water pipes and are still moving on. Things are not “normal”, they may be more routine, but they are not normal. I don’t cry every night – or every morning – and we are accustomed to the fact that he won’t be here for dinner and he can’t fix the broken pipes, but none of that really seems normal.
I’m so thankful God is gracious in allowing time for us to heal. I’m glad he doesn’t put us under the pressure we ourselves have a tendency to. Each morning as I read His word he speaks comfort and sometimes hope to my heart. I marvel at His tenderness. I pray all of us who have felt a void since Eric’s death will be drawn closer to the Throne of Grace and have our heart revived and our vision renewed.
Please pray for us this week. We appreciate it much.
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Psalm 46:1,2,7,10 & 11NKJV
JEV 