Here we are, ending our eighth year since Eric died. It seems almost impossible. Can it really have been that long ago yet often seem as though no time has passed? Isn’t it odd how that happens – that time can fly and stand still all at once?
Most people are now used to me being a ‘single’; I actually have friends who never knew me as a married person. Another fact that seems odd to me but, hey, it’s reality. Reality is that my life is vastly different than it was nine years ago. Many, many things are different; not bad, just different. Adjustments have been made, new ventures enjoyed and life is still a precious gift.
I have adjusted to sleeping alone, bypassing the mens department when shopping, not making coffee daily….or twice daily….or even more often 😊. I no longer automatically expect Eric to be home when I get there nor do I pick up my phone to give him a call when something amazing happens. I am used to traveling without him, making changes to our home and knowing there is no one else to consider when writing events on my calendar. These things that once were such typical parts of my life exist no longer, but I have adjusted. And I am happy.
However, I have not adjusted to praying alone, not starting the day with a hug and a kiss or being pampered on a regular basis. I don’t like checking the box that says ‘widow’ or trying to find a handyman for all those annoying projects around the house. I miss having a truly honest sounding board and being the center of his attention. It’s sad to have memories that no one else shares because the only other person who experienced them with you is missing. These are adjustments I have not made. But I am happy.
Out of necessity, people who used to be central parts of my life are people I hardly see any more. I might not ‘see’ them at all if it wasn’t for Facebook! Looking at their pictures, reading their posts and realizing how far apart we’ve grown can make me rather nostalgic. Then I think about all the new friends God has blessed me with and I get almost giddy. I have renewed friendships and enjoy the company of some people I did not know nine years ago. I count myself very blessed because of them! And I am happy.
So many emotions. So many questions. So many tears. Loosing a spouse is a roller coaster ride at best, a horrible nightmare at it’s worst. It’s a step-by-step, day-by-day decision to come out on the other side and be able to say “I am happy”. It may be a different kind of happy, but it’s happy. There was a time I was not convinced I would ever be able to say that. And since I’m still moving forward, maybe someday I’ll be able to say it is the same kind of happy I used to have. Maybe my heart will be full again in all aspects. Who knows. But if not, it’s ok because I am happy now. I am amazed at God’s faithfulness and kindness. His grace truly is amazing and His patience must be, well, indescribable! If you are walking this road as I have, take heart because you do not walk alone. Jesus walks with you and He slows down when you need to and prods you a little when you need it. You will be happy, truly happy, as you allow Him to mend your heart. You can trust Him …… He loves you beyond compare.
…“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt,…
Jeremiah 31:3-4
https://www.youtube.com/embed/eUHRDCYnFfg“>Enjoy this beautiful song.
JEV 
Great post. I’m so happy for you and sad at the same time. God has blessed you and is taking care of you ( ha ha remember the post office….SMILE )
You are a blessing to many people, stay strong in the Lord and the power of His might !!!
Rick Tripp
EHS Department
740-774-7320
rtripp@yskcorp.com
You always make me smile!
Hey girl! You’re never alone! Your personality and kindness will always draw people to you, and we lifelong friends, no matter what part of the state we end up with, will always have your back! You have a beautiful family and God loves you!
So grateful for faithful, life-long friends!
I had a feeling that would be the song!!! It’s amazing what God can do when we choose to walk with Him! Love ya!!
Isn’t it a wonderful song?? Love you, my friend!
As usual your writings are so filled with beautiful transparency, wisdom, and gifts that go FAR beyond the words I am reading
Your life, your heart EXPLODES with the essence of one of my favorites .
Such Beauty you have exchanged for the Ashes..
You obviously chose to splash in the oil of HIS joy,where there is mourning..
Thank you for sharing!! I cannot wait to forward this to a friend of mine!!
They will be life words to her, as to all who read with open hearts! God Bless You!!
( btw… I LOVE getting these!!!:))thank you
Thank you, my friend! You know a bit about persevering!
I remember this day like it was yesterday standing in my bathroom and I got the clall that I never wanted to get. My life changed that day because a man I respected so much was gone. Things were very different at church after he died but change is good I guess. Jeannette I watched you go down the path without Eric and I can only imagine how hard it has been. But you have always stayed true to God and ur faith. I am one of those people who used to spend a lot of time with you and now I rarely see you. I must admit I do miss you in my life. I’m happy for the times we shared together and have many fond memories !! I’m glad you are happy and adjusted to a new kind of life. God Bless
Thank you, Kathy. That wasn’t a hard time just for my family but for our church family as well. We have weathered the storm and know that God is still faithful and has a plan. Friendships are precious and keep us going when giving up would be easy. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and send such a nice comment.
Loved this Jeannette. ❤
Thanks, Tash. All encouragement is much appreciated!
You are a child of God and person of worth… and He continues to shine His light through you and all you do. I love reading your posts and feel a sense of peace… although missing Eric he is truly still with us and we will see him again someday. I am very happy for you Jeannette… continue to be good to yourself… sharing His word… you are blessed and so are we by having you a part of our lives.
Such nice words….thank you so much! Hope this year is good to you and your business!
so good to read your words, Jeannette. I know that it has been a long journey and you reached this place very gradually. It gives hope to others of us who are further back in the painful journey. Thank you for sharing your heart.
The journey can be long, but we don’t walk it alone – thank God. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Touched by your love,
Challenged by your faith,
Encouraged by your trust…
Eric was an amazing man…
You have shown to all why he loved you so much.
Excited for your destiny!
He was an amazing man with amazing friends 🙂 I’m rather excited for my destiny as well. I have fought for 8 years the fact that I simply became a liability, a leftover, when Eric died. I’m slowly beginning to believe there is something specific for me and not just a ‘filler’ job. I hope to stand before my Savior and hear him say “Great job!” rather than, “Well, what could we expect after the partnership ended?” Onward Christian Soldiers!